Good quote from Amanda Mealing.

'It's vital to have someone to get up for each day. If you have a purpose, a sense of the future, it gets you through.'

When speaking to the Times, of her diagnosis of breast cancer the day after the Holby City actress gave birth to her second child, Otis.
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Home.

I'm so tired.

Working at 2 jobs at the same time has started to take it's toll on me. It takes me forever to recover from my flu, while it used to take me just a couple of days; I'm sleepy all the time; I don't feel like socialising anymore because I'm tired and I need my bed more than meeting new people. I think maybe I'm stretching me a bit too much?

Does it really worth it?

Everytime when mom asks me, 'so, do you have any plans to go home and make a visit soon?' - I swear the word 'YES!!' is slipping out from my mouth, but think about my bank balance - 'nope, mom, I have to work harder before I have the money, and I have to hang around for a bit longer to see if they're offering me a paid job...'

I hate saying no to my mom, and I really miss home, too. Things in London seems to have gone out of my control lately (well, to be honest, I think it's always beyond my control anyway. But this time..I really don't know what to do anymore. I need more wisdom to deal with that.) and it kind of wakes me up and tells me, well, no one is more reliable than my family is it?

I'm really moved when my brother is running around to fix my laptop, and my dad ringing around just to find out if I can fix it in London. Sometimes, I feel as if when they're around me, all the problems will go away themselves.

Argh. I really miss my family. I really miss my uncle, and my grandparents, who always said they will cook all of my favourite food and take me to my favourite restaurant when I'm back.

London is so tough for me, and it never was my home...
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Tired tired tired.

Oh my god, I've been working almost 70 hours this week...I've never worked this hard in my life before. Thank god all my good friends are back in town, who made the hectic week a lot easier and enjoyable:)

But no matter how fun it is, I still want to say goodbye to my studenty days and move on to a real job...I can't do this forever can I?
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I want a holiday!

Or would it be more appropriate to say I actually need one?
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Future plans.

Future tense doesn't exist in my life anymore whenever I think about my visa. I mean, what can I do when my current visa is running out in 40 days, and what can I do if I can't get a new visa? I simply block out the thoughts of something called 'future'. I'm so paranoid that I even started to look at plane tickets and check how much it'll cost me to go home for good next month.

I've done my best in school to get the grades I needed for the visa, and I've saved as much money as I could to make sure I've got what the Home Office required; but so long as I still haven't got my passport with a new visa on it, I will not think of what is going to happen after my birthday...It's just sad when I can't keep my hopes high. I always love having something to look forward to, you know?

My amazing friends in London have always been my rock since I met them. They pulled me through so many hardships that I've forgotten how to survive without them. Thanks for making future plans with me, like saying going to Nottinghall Carnival with me next year, visiting Europe with me, go backpacking with me...

Can't express how much I love them. They're just simply WONDERFUL. Wherever I'll be at in the future, these 3 years has been a life-changing experience for me, and for that I'll always be grateful to all the fantabulous people I've met in here. They're like the icing on the cake that makes all the memories as sweet as can be.

xxxx


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A pound saved is a pound earned!

That's why I've been queueing up at Primark customer service for 30 minutes, just to return a £2 dress, and updating my blog a bit too often.

I hope my jobless/working-for-free days will soon be over:\
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So you've been dumped.

In the name of researching for my editor, I was reading soyouvebeendumped.com. I know laughing at others' heartbreaks isn't a righteous thing, but I just can't help giggling in front of the monitor like a crazy woman when I was reading it.

So here are some of the break-up lines:

"I'm really sorry to have messed you about, but being with you had made me realise that I'm gay and I can't string you along anymore."

"I must have been on drugs the day I asked you out."

"I want to concentrate on art, so you have to go. Second will be my job."

"What we have has been amazing, and I really want to keep everything the way it is...except the boyfriend/girlfriend thing.'

I may have found those lines hilarious, but there's certainly a moment I feel like cursing the people who said those lines to break people's heart.

I do feel for them. But after all, there's no easy way to break up with someone, I assume?


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My new best friend.

Banoffee pie rules:)

I know I might regret it when I have to run perhaps 2 hours to burn the calories off, but who cares when it can give me the instant mood boost that I need?

It cures my sweet tooth, and it heals my soul.
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What is love?

If love is the truth
Then let it break my heart

If love is fear
Lead me to the dark

If love is a game
I'm playing all my cards

What is love?


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I heart Glen Hansard!

He made this song so beautiful.

15 movies I've seen that will always stick with me.

Rules: Don't take too long to think about it. Fifteen movies you've seen that will always stick with you. First fifteen you can recall in no more than fifteen minutes.

Closer
Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind
50 First Dates
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Two Lovers
Big Fish
Love Actually
Stardust
Sex and the City
He's Just Not That Into You
Match Point
Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Brokeback Mountain
Moulin Rouge
Bridget Jones

What a coincidence.

Every storm brings with it hope that somehow by morning, everything will be made clean again. And even the most troubling stains will have disappeared. Like the doubts over his innocence, or the consequence of his mistake, like the scars of his betrayal, or the memory of his kiss. So we wait for the storm to pass hoping for the best, even though we know in our hearts some stains are so indelible, nothing can wash them away.

Desperate Housewives, S05E13

I love survey!

EIGHT lasts:

8. last cigarette: A couple week ago now.
7. last beverage: Pressed mango and apple juice from Tesco.
6. last phone call: To my mom
5. last text message: Izzy
4. last song listened to: Radiohead - Creep
3. last BUBBLE bath: Before I moved to here..a year ago I think?
2. last time you cried: When my parents left the town:(
1. last meal: Boiled Chinese noodles

SEVEN have you's:

7. have you ever dated someone twice: Yep.
6. have you ever been cheated on? Yes and it was shite.
5. have you ever kissed someone & regretted it? Ha, thankfully, nope.
4. have you ever fallen in love? Yes.
3. have you ever lost someone? Yes.
2. have you ever been depressed? All the bloody time!
1. have you ever spat on someone? Nope but I should have..

SIX things you are gonna do or have done in the coming/past 3 days:

1. Went to work
2. Went shopping
3. Had dinner at Jan's house and played with Fufu
4. Sent out CVs and job applications
5. Feel the sun on my skin
6. Go for a run in the park

FIVE people who you want at your wedding:

1. My groom
2. My mom
3. My dad
4. My brother
5. My uncle

...and too many to list, really. I would love to have you all there!

List FOUR people you can tell pretty much anything to:

1. Arthur Chan
2. Keith Ko
3. Tammy Cheung
4. Rezo Baramia

...and apparently, some more names to be mentioned but I can only list FOUR:\

List THREE Favourite colours:

1. Purple
2. White
3. Bright red

List TWO things you want to do before you die:

1. Start my family with Mr the-one
2. To meet Jose Mourinho/David Beckham either one in person hehee

List ONE thing you want to do right now:

1. Get a job that pays me!

Look who's back??

Oh my. Look at him. As if time hasn't left any mark on his face!

I feel like 16 again - I'm so looking forward to his comeback album:)

Rain.

It washes away the dirt on the pavement; it cleans up the air; it waters the grass in the park to make them grow.

When it rains, I look forward to smelling the freshness in the air after the downpour. Sometimes when I get lucky, I can even see the rainbow hanging proudly in the sky.

As if how I see tears.
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Sometimes love comes around.

Sometimes love comes around,

It may knock you down,

Just get back up when it knocks you down, knocks you down.
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Tears dry on their own.

Finally I heard from you again.


I wish I could say no regrets
And no emotional debts
Cause that kiss goodbye the sun sets
So we are history
The shadow covers me
The sky above a blaze that only lovers see
Tears dry on their own - Amy Winehouse

May you rest in peace.

I pray for you and my thoughts are with your family, although I have never met you.

R.I.P.

Oh shooooot.

I just got up from a bad dream.

Something must have gone into my head now...

Graduation.

Oh wow. I can't believe I'm turning to a new page of my life so quickly. Finally I have to face my grown-up life.

It didn't start to hit me until I have to make plans for my parents when they're in London. I was like, oh no, how can I look after them just like the way they've been taking care of me since I was born? What's the easiest way for them to travel around? How to make them feel as comfortable as can be, while spending as little as possible at the same time? THERE'S NO WAY I CAN DO IT!

Everything about their arrival was stressing me out so much. One of the reason is because I haven't been being with them 24/7 for so long that I almost forgot how it's like, I'm afraid of letting them down, I'm afraid of they're not well looked after by me, I'm afraid they're not enjoying themselves...

But B reminds me one thing, simple and clear. 'They'll be happy no matter what, because, think about it: how many graduation you're going to go through? It is the biggest day in their lives after your birth and your wedding.'

Oh my god. That's so true. It's so well-said that it stopped my tears of paranoid from falling down from my cheeks. (He can always stops me from being paranoid, though.)

Apparently my parents' visit to Europe is only the beginning of handling responsibilities for me. But with this shaky start, I can't help but doubt if I'll ever be strong enough to handle all the responsibilities in the near future. Such as handling my bills, looking after my family, my partner and my children, and climbing up the career ladder at the same time. Can I really do it all?

Well, we'll see, we'll see.

You.

It's ridiculous how much effort you've put in to avoid me.

What's done is done, so let's get over it and try not to remind each other something has happened, shall we?

I hate being told I'm still in love.
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My parents.

While I'm reading this book, I'm so grateful that my parents allow me to dream, because without their support, there's no way I have gone this far.

Especially my mom.

Even if she knew that it's not the most money-making job that I'm chasing after, she's never put me off from that. At the same time, when I'm moaning about my English level and how it hinders me in getting closer to my dream, both my parents gave me all the support needed and possible to help me. They've never, never judged me.

I've just finished my bachelor degree, and I've got a result that I'm quite pleased with, so undoubtedly they will be the first people who share my joy. I'm still not getting anywhere close to getting a real pay job in either continent, but I'm sure I'll get it. I thank them for never put any pressure on me, never force/persuade me to work in the finance/banking field.

I'm grateful that they taught me to judge right and wrong, but not to tell me what is right and what is wrong.

I can't wait to see them in less than 3 weeks time:)

Sleepless night.

I'm spending the night at Stansted Airport tonight. I didn't expect trying to fall asleep in a public space would be so tough.

I've been staring at the ceiling for the whole night, I've counted the sheeps, I've sung to myself, and I'm still widely awake. That's ridiculous. I think, perhaps, deep down inside of me is being really excited about going away; or, I simply feel naked just because I don't have a duvet over me. I sound like Charlie in Snoopy now.

Anywayz. 90 minutes until I can check in and get my boarding pass. Could time please pass by slightly quicker? I want some sleep.
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Jetsetting.

I love traveling. It's like the sweetest treat after exhausting myself at work for the hard earn cash.

It's one of the perks of living in London: you can always look forward to getting out of this city, as long as you can afford it. I don't know how others would expect from a get-away, but for me, it's always about good food, a lot of sleep, and a lot of chilling out. I really don't like it when the schedule of my day is packed with sightseeing - hey, I spend my cash in another city to relax, not to stress myself out running to all the tourist spots!

Of course, sightseeing is still a very crucial part of the trip, but it won't hurt if I've missed one museum to chill out at a cafe to enjoy my day. After all, traveling is all about enjoying ourselves, not to drag ourselves in another deadline mayhem every hour, baby.

I just want to see as much of the world as I could, when I still have the energy and spare money to do so. When I have bills to pay, a family to raise, it would not be that easy to disappear from the radar every once a while. I know I'm blessed.


P.S. I'm not from a wealthy family. I can travel only because I work really, really hard to save up the money, and then, BAAM! spending every penny on broadening my horizons.
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I'm a dedicated hublet.

Oh my lord. I'm exhausted. It's not even half way through the week. Three more days to go, then I'll have several days break from work. I look forward to that.

I forgot for how many times I have told people how much I love that little place called HUB. This place can be demanding at times, but I have lovely bosses, and I have people who genuinely cares about me in here. It has become a comfort zone to me because finally I know what I'm doing here, and I hate to think that I'll have to leave the HUB soon.

I so don't want to face the real world, you know.

Even if it's a physically exhausting job, it's been one of the best part-time job I've had in my life. I have no idea how much longer I'll be allowed to stay, so I'm enjoying every shift as if it's the last one.

I love the HUB.

New beginning.

I've always been tempted to start blogging in English instead of Chinese, but it seems that I can never made up my mind. Well, well, that's the real me. It takes me ages to make a decision.

Finally, I made up my mind today and I'm going to start a new habit - to rant about things in English! How amazing is that.

Every once a while I'll be here talking about random things. Hopefully it will be something intelligent, maybe a book I've read or a good film I've seen recently. So, stay tuned!

x