Friday 16 October 2009

Home.

I'm so tired.

Working at 2 jobs at the same time has started to take it's toll on me. It takes me forever to recover from my flu, while it used to take me just a couple of days; I'm sleepy all the time; I don't feel like socialising anymore because I'm tired and I need my bed more than meeting new people. I think maybe I'm stretching me a bit too much?

Does it really worth it?

Everytime when mom asks me, 'so, do you have any plans to go home and make a visit soon?' - I swear the word 'YES!!' is slipping out from my mouth, but think about my bank balance - 'nope, mom, I have to work harder before I have the money, and I have to hang around for a bit longer to see if they're offering me a paid job...'

I hate saying no to my mom, and I really miss home, too. Things in London seems to have gone out of my control lately (well, to be honest, I think it's always beyond my control anyway. But this time..I really don't know what to do anymore. I need more wisdom to deal with that.) and it kind of wakes me up and tells me, well, no one is more reliable than my family is it?

I'm really moved when my brother is running around to fix my laptop, and my dad ringing around just to find out if I can fix it in London. Sometimes, I feel as if when they're around me, all the problems will go away themselves.

Argh. I really miss my family. I really miss my uncle, and my grandparents, who always said they will cook all of my favourite food and take me to my favourite restaurant when I'm back.

London is so tough for me, and it never was my home...
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